My beautiful Grandma!

I have been trying to write (type) this for awhile, but to be honest it's been hard on me. Nothing that I can say here justifies the type of person my grandma was. There are not enough words to honor the women she was. This is my attempt and my beautiful memories of my grandma.


My grandma was a beautiful women inside and out. She had a heart of gold and she stood strong in her faith. Her love for Jesus was never a secret. She lived to set a better example for all of us. And when we would fall she was there to kick us in the butt and get us back on the right track. She loved my grandfather with everything she had. Over 50 years together they would still fall in love more and more everyday. When he passed, she dreamed of being with him again. She waited 7 years, but she is finally in his arms again. I imagine their reunion after so long. She is now with the two loves of her live, Jesus and grandpa. I am at peace with that. That doesn't mean this hurts any less. There was so many things I wanted to say and so many things I wanted to apologize for, I regret not being able to do that.


When we were little my grandma use to babysit us for my dad. (Remember he worked two jobs and was in school) We spent a lot of time with her and we didn't always treat her the best. My grandma would give up her evenings every night to take us home and get us ready for bed and she use to read us the Bible. Although that didnt end well, that was the start of my journey of living my life for God.

My grandparent after they bought their house in Milford. Not long after, my grandpa passed away


My grandma's 80th Birthday! She had so many


stories, that I loved hearing!



As we got older all of us lost our way. At one point in my life I wasn't even sure if I believed in God. At that point in my life I felt like I only believed because I was told to. I was 18 and confused and the best thing I knew to do was go to my grandma. I went there expecting her to yell at me, but she didn't. She had so much love and actually understood my doubts. That was probably the best two hours I had ever spent with my grandparents.

My life didn't change much. I didn't give up my ways of living and I got pregnant out of wedlock. I didn't have the guts to face my grandparents. One day after a doctor appointment I ran into my grandma at Meijers and I knew from the second that I seen her that she knew. My heart dropped, but what hurt the most was the things that she said. Yes she was disappointed in me, but she also told me that they love me and want the best for me. She never once treated Julie different because she wasn't born the biblical way. For so long I never focused on the things that she said after she "yelled" at me.

I remember that every time I just felt down it my life it drew me to my grandma's. I never told her why I was there, but I always felt like she knew. She always had a way of making me feel better by just saying nothing. Sometimes I regret not saying anything.

I never told my grandma how much she meant to me until she was gone. I never told her how much the life she lived influenced me. I miss her so much and my heart feels so empty at times, but I know that she is where she lived her whole life to be and I will always have the memories of her in my heart.


My grandma and I on my wedding day!

Our last girls day at Grandma's.


I love you grandma! Thank you for always believing in me.

I miss her so much

Mixed emotions

The new year has started out pretty crappy. I lost my grandma, our Church, and some of our friends. But even with the way the past two months have been, God is so awesome. I have no clue what he has in store for our family, but I know it's something big. I miss my grandma so much and so many times, I want to call or go over and visit her. Even if I never told her the reason I came to visit, visiting with her made my day. My grandma was my biggest inspiration on earth aside from my dad. My grandma lived a long beautiful life and never once did I ever see her faith shaken. I have so many goals that I want to accomplish this year and even though the road is starting out bumpy, I won't give up. And God couldn't have placed a better person in my life to walk through it with than my husband. I don't know if anyone reads this, but if you are please pray for our family. Right now there is so much hurt and confusion that has happened. Sometimes it feels as though there is no light at that the end of the tunnel. I am not by any means saying we were not apart of the hurt and confusion nor am I trying to bash or be little anyone or anything. I simply just want peace in my heart. I have always been the type of person who is strong in her beliefs and not afraid to stand up for them. And boy have I learned that can get you in trouble. I think that so many times, we need to really evaluate the situation before speaking. That is something I will be working on.

McDonalds!

This evening our plans changed last minute. The kids were looking forward to getting out of the house for a bit, so we decided to go to McDonald's since I had two free coupons for Big Macs. As we were packing up the car to leave, a lady come running out to our car. She said this may sound strange, but God told me I need to pray for you. WOW! Did I mention that Scott and I were feeling down about some things going on in our life, not each other but the rest of the world. Of course we said yes! Please do. She prayed with us and then she said, I don't know you but God is telling me that he has something in store for your family. WOW AGAIN! At this point she walked away. I about jumped out of the car, and said WAIT. Thank you! Something happened this evening that had us feeling really down and what you did tonight really means something. We talked to her for a few more minutes and then left. I am still blown away by what happened. I have seen God work in our lives, but never that up in your face kinda way! Oh and did I mention that she also looked at Scott and said God is calling you into the ministry. Yes you should have seen the look on my husbands face! Still not sure how to process all of this, but I know GOD IS GOOD!

Other good news may be in store, but that will have to wait for another day!

New Year means New Beginings!

Goodbye 2009!



5 things I am most grateful for in 2009

1.) My God! How awesome is He. When all the ugly and hurtful things were happening in 2009 he was right their holding our hand. When we didn't know how we were going to get the money to pay our bills, he provided!


2.) My husband. He is the most amazing man on earth! I love him so much. He has helped me deal with so much this past year. He is my rock. No matter what goes wrong or who I am fighting with I can ALWAYS count on him!


3.) My beautiful children! Julie and Austin are my greatest blessings from God. They have developed into such great people with hearts to serve. I can not wait to see what God has in store for the two of them!


4.) My job. I can complain all I want about my job, but at the end of the day I am so grateful that I have it and am able to support my family and children in their activities. I am also grateful that they work with my schedule and allow me to attend my children's sports!



5.) The hard times. I know that is strange, but honestly it has made our family so much closer. When we feel like the whole world is against us there is never a doubt that we have each other.


4 great memories I have from 2009- there are so many more, and it was really hard to chose when we had so many great things happen to us in 2009!

1.) Our first family vacation to Florida! We all had such a great time and it was really hard settling back into the real world!


2.)Our first family hike on Mothers Day. That was such an awesome day. We had so much fun just hanging out with each other!



3.)The Red's game! Julie and I took my dad to the Red's game. Another great day and it brought back alot of great memories from my childhood!



4.)Village! Although it was a hard goodbye- the girls learned a took a lot from that school! I continue to pray that the school with someday open back up!



3 Goals I have for 2010

1.) Read my Bible more and more. I struggle with committing to that.



2.) Be a better wife to my husband. My husband would say my biggest fault is taking all my problems out on him. (I tell him that's what husbands are for) But in all honestly, I really need to not put all the weight on him.


3.) Be a better mother. There are so many times that Julie and Austin have stuff going on and because I am on call I can't go to all of them. Work provided me with a cell phone and a laptop and this year it's getting put to good use, while I am out running around with my children and soaking up as much of their childhood as possible!



2 things I want to do in 2010

1.) I want to get plugged in. And by that I mean plugged into a small group, plugged into Church period! We ended 2009 with not really being a part of anything. This year I want to focus on God's calling for me.


2.) Cook more- I love cooking. That's weird coming from me because I never do it. But honestly if I was home more, I would cook all the time. When we were at Bonnie's for Christmas, she gave me the idea of precooking the night before. I think I can handle that one.


AND last but not least.... 1 thing I know for sure that will be happening in 2010

1.) We will be adding a new person to our family. OK so not mine and Scott's but this year I know I will gain a new niece or nephew! I am so excited to have another baby in the family!



Welcome 2010!

10 good things

As I was driving home from work today listening to KLove they were talking about positive things you can do to make someone elses day better or yourself. One of the things that was mentioned was at the end of the day writ ting or emailing to someone ten positive things that happened in the day. I thought I would start off my doing this on my blog, so here goes.

1. I was able to spend an hour of my morning with my daughter
2. I seen Abby's cheesy grin first thing this morning
3. I had positive feedback from a customer
4. Robin helped Julieann with her homework after school (never expected but much appreciated!!!)
5. There was hardly any traffic on the way to work and on the way home
6. I had my favorite milkshake today
7. Both Dave's were in good moods today
8. I was all caught up by the end of the day!!!
9. Terezia was not out today because she had her baby (that's a good thing, she hasn't had her baby shower from work yet!)
10. No techs on site so I can go to bed early!!!


Good night!

In the Desert

Today's sermon really spoke to me today. One of the things Pastor said was "When God wants to bring you into something new, He first has to bring you out of something old". Hearing this helped me see clearer the last few months. It may not be what we wanted but it was what God wanted. I didn't understand that and I questioned quite often why this was happening, but now I understand. I was in the desert that God wanted me to be in at that time, but now He has put me in a new desert. I think that it was something that we fought for awhile, and maybe that's why it became so painful. The last few weeks I have been learning so many new and exciting things about people I have known for such a long time. Hearing their stories and their testimony's has touched my heart in so many ways. I feel like I have given up on so many things that I once had a huge passion for. Such as my degree for Chemical Dependency and children. I would love to have a career helping teens or children of addicts. I find it interesting that 2 of my sisters have also chosen this field...


In other new, first week of school for the girls went great. Julie's first words to me Friday afternoon were there shouldn't be a weekend, they should have school everyday. Robin agreed with her, but I think she was for different reasons ; )
Austin will start school this week. He also has his second football game on Tuesday. Every time I think I couldn't be more proud of that boy, he shows me up. My dad recently found out he has arthritis in his knee. Dad has been having a hard time with it and is pretty uncomfortable at time. Austin has stepped up and started helping my dad mow the grass. This weekend Austin had plans with his grandparents, but ensured he took time to come over to Papa's and mow the grass! I truly believe I have the best kids!

Back to school

The girls started back to school today. Robin is now officially a senior! I feel old. My baby sister being a senior. Julie started her first day of 2nd grade today also. Sarah spending the night last night really helped calm Robin's nerves and completely made Julie forget to be nervous. Here are a few pictures of their morning and a few from open house.

Goodbye Summer

The summer is sadly coming to an end. It has been a really great summer. We have experienced some really difficult times and even tougher decisions, but as a family it has brought us closer together. We are blessed by each and every person that has entered our life and know that God brought them into our lives at just the right time. This summer has really been an eye opener of how great our God is. When we didn't know how we were going to survive, God was holding our hand and got us through it. I couldn't ask for a better family or a more supportive family than God has blessed me with. In just a few days the girls will be starting their new school. Julie will be going to a public school for the first time in her life. I am no longer worried about how she will fit in because I know that God will be watching over her. Robin will be ending her last year at Blanchester with some of her best friends. She has been lucky enough to have some of her Village friends with her this year. Austin will be starting his last year of Jr High in just a couple of weeks. I couldn't be more proud of my children for the strength they have shown this year. Our children were faced with some tough decisions and they took it on and stood strong. And my husband has been incredible. The amount of support that he has shown me and our kids has been amazing. He loves whole heartily and is never afraid to show us. I can honestly stand in the mist of everything we have going on in our crazy life and know that no matter what as long as we trust and believe He will get us through this!

Just a little faith!

I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

So many things have been going on in our busy lives, that's sometimes it can seem hard to just stop and breath. I think our family have been through many rough and emotional times that sometimes we forget to do that. The girls said goodbye to their, school, friends, and many teachers that have touched their lives. Austin has been going through a lot of personal things at his mom's house Emotionally and mentally it has taken a toll on him. Scott and I have decided that it is time that we did something about it. We are currently looking for a new house and still have yet to enroll the girls into a new school. I have come to realize that it is also time for me to find another job. I seen the above posted on some one's blog and it really stuck out to me. It seems that many times we have to just walk by faith even we can not see what we are so desperately wanting to see. We need to trust in God and know that He will always provide like so many times before. And know that even though it doesn't make since now, it will someday.

So what is to come? Still unsure, but I can honestly say that I know with out a doubt that everything will be OK and in the end it will all make since.

3 amazing years!

6 years ago, I met the man that would change my life in a way that I would never expect....



And he stole my heart and made me fall head over heals in love with him....


And we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together forever.....


That was the day he asked me to be his wife.....

And he made me the happiest women in the world....

2 separate lives now became one...

And until the day I die, in his arms is where I want to be

growing old and gray with the love of my life!

Happy Anniversary Scott! I love you!!!