More Praises!

As many of you know, I have been struggling with my new team. Not necessarily the people on the team, or the amount of work but rather the lack there of. Today, I learned I will be going back to the team I have been working with for the past four months! I really enjoyed this team, the customers, and the people I get to work with.

The minute after I moved all of my stuff back over to my old/new team, I received a phone call. I have posted blogs on this and our small group has been praying. My friend Bethany was in stage 3 cancer. Today she is cancer free! How truly awesome is our God! She is a Christian and a true believer that there isn't anything that our God can't do, now she is living proof! She was beyond excited and over joyed that her prayers have been answered.

Don't forget to wish Missy a very happy birthday tomorrow! And I promise it's not an April fools joke : )

Going through the motions

This is the video of Mathew West new song "The Motions" I usually don't get teary eyed on music video's, but this defiantly made me tear up. I was listening to this song today and it hit me that I am really just going through the motions. I want something more! I want to feel the fire again! I want to be more involved in CP and spread the word of God around. The past 6 months or so have been hard times, but even when I was not able to see how we were going to make it, God provided for us. I have always know that we have been blessed with great friends, a wonderful family and an amazing Church, but I allowed this to be in the back of my mind while I dwell ed on what I don't have. I have heard Ray preach many times on being thankful for what we do have, and trust me we are, but I have just felt this darkness over me for so long. I am standing up to it now and saying goodbye and hello to what God has in store for me next!

My hubby!

Scott has been going through a little bit of a tough time the past few weeks. Yesterday when I got home from work, we sat down and actually got to talk and enjoy each others company for a little bit. I must say that I am proud of the enthusiasm he left the house with today and was even more pumped up when he got back. He had an awesome day in the field and I am extremely proud of him! Sales is where his passion is, but it can be a bit discouraging if you aren't making that sale. December through February were rough months for him, it didn't help that I lost almost half my income when I switched departments. Things are finally starting to look like they will be OK again. Tonight, I got a tiny look into his business and learned a few things about setting appointments. I wish I could do it full time, but I am not so sure that would be a smart move just yet. However, he will need to fill that position, there is a possibility that he found someone and he will find out tomorrow for sure if they are accepting the job.

Scott- keep up the energy and positive thinking. We are proud of you!!!

Letting go

It is incredibly hard to do especially when it is something/someone you love. Learning to let go is much easier said than done. This year I have had to experience it a lot. For starters I switched teams and letting go of dispatch was hard. It was all I had known and it can be scary to start over on something new. That’s how I felt when I moved over to projects. I knew dispatch inside and out. I knew my customers and exactly what they wanted. I knew my techs and who I could always count on. Moving over to projects, I worked with another department of customers that I had to learn, and techs that I have never used, and a team I was quite unsure about. In the end it turned out to be a great learning experience and I came to love my job again. I never realized how truly unhappy I was in dispatch until I moved over to projects.
Scott and I have also had to let go of Robin. Wow, how do you do that? I love that girl like she was my own and for 2 years we raised her and treated her as such. It was incredibly hard to let her go and one of the most painful experiences of my life. Do I think letting her go was best, no! Learning to let go of things out of our control is enough harder. For nights after Robin left I cried myself to sleep, there were days when I wouldn’t even come out of my room. I prayed to God that the pain would stop. Then one day I prayed to God and I told him I could not continue living this way and I was just handing it over to Him. Slowly it started not hurting as bad, and things got better with Robin. She is not back; I am not sure if she will ever come back, but what’s important is that she knows we love her and will always be there for her.
Recently I had to switch teams again. I am having a hard time adjusting to my new team and letting go of the old. There are things going on at work that I just don’t understand. In the past 6 months I have worked for 4 teams. The last 3 have been extremely busy; this one is the complete opposite. My mind is beginning to wonder and there are times that I am just bored out of my mind. I try hard to keep myself busy with the little things there is to do, but I am at the point where I am about to go crazy with boredom. I have also felt like I am more of their personal secretary than I am a PC. I have my quarterly review coming up, so I think this is something that I am going to bring up.
What are some things you had to let go of? What did you find the most helpful.

Praise!

My sister's husband got the job at Direct TV! This has been a huge relieve as he has been laid off for the past 7 months with a 7 month old baby.

Also Scott is piled high with appointments this week. Lets pray he has a 50% sale ratio!

Church was awesome yesterday and I absolutely love our small group! Kait did such a beautiful job!



As you know Scott and I have been discussing the possibility of home schooling Julie next year, but we have also been doing some house hunting. It isn't that we are serious about moving because we are not sure if that is the direction we want to go, we just wanted to look around. So anyway yesterday we go look at this house in Kings school district. The house is huge, I mean huge, 5 huge bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms (bigger than Austins bed room) a wrap around porch huge walk in closets that you could actually use as another bedroom. Then we go look at the living room, its smaller than our office in the house now. I couldn't get over how huge this house was and then there is this tiny little living room. It made me wonder why they built the house like that. Apparently this is a really old house with a lot of history. Some of our older presidents have stayed there before. Can you imagine living in a house that the President of the United States stayed in.



Last night we watch Left Behind part II at small groups. We watched part I last week According to John and Scott its a chick flick, but whatever you want to call it, its a must see movie! It really gives you a different outlook when you are watching these things take place.



BTW- we decided to pass on the house. I just couldn't get over that living room ; )

Homeschooling

As you know Julie's school will be closing down at the end of the school year. Scott and I have been researching schools trying to decide where we are going to send her next year. I researched homeschooling once before and then found Village and decided to send her there. Has anyone ever been home schooled? What are some of your thougths on homeschooling? I am not saying that I want to do it the rest of her school years, but would like to try it out next year to see how it works out. Let me know your thoughts.

To sum it all up- A great day!

I am not sure if anyone heard it but when Chris said sing loud, Julie did not hold back! She was also reading the words off the board so fast she was ahead of the song! I love having her in worship with us, watching her sing her heart out and truly mean the words pouring out of her mouth melts my heart! Both my kids are like that. Austin loves jumping and dancing with the music.

Our small group was postponed till Wednesday this week so Scott and I decided to visit my dads Church this evening. It's really unlike us to that but for some reason we did. Their set up is so much different and Scott and I ended up in the teen service, which then cut off to their teen small group meeting. It was really an interesting discussion. Scott and I couldn't get over the things being said in there that reminded us of Austin and Robin. They are currently discussing a book on teenagers in their small group and I would really like to get it. I can not wait for the family series to start up at CP.


I missed being in the service today, but I love our little CPers! I think they taught me a thing or two also lol.

In case you didn't know:

Throwing a ball into a bucket over and over is tons of fun
Eli is fascinated with burping
Patty is six months pregnant and can still touch her toes to her noes (I made her show me this)


Have a great week!

Scentsy Party

Missy and Trish have been stalking me to have a party. Since I can't say no to fee stuff I agreed! I have moved the party to next Saturday at 7pm at my house! All are welcomed!

Humilation

Recently someone I love was humiliated in the worse way. It really got me thinking, of my most embarrassing situation and how it changed my life.


In hopes that this person will read this and their embarrassment will be lessened, here is my story.



I was 20 years old and thought I was "in love". I had known him my entire life, he was my cousins best friend. He was also a married man with a family at home, but that didn't seem to bother me much at that time. Tim and his wife split up and I moved in, the divorce procedures got ugly and then she moved back in. Yes I was still there as his "best friend and babysitter". I slowly realized I wasn't the only one that he was with, but it didn't seem to matter that I had to share him because I 'loved' this man more than anything. I got pregnant and I never second guessed that he wouldn't be there. He was the best father to his two children. We started fighting more often and I moved out. We continued to sneak around to be with each other and then one day it ended. I was heartbroken, pregnant and alone and never more scared in my life. Not only was I pregnant, but I just committed one of worst crimes, I committed adultery and I was caring the proof of this. Through out the rest of pregnancy I didn't see Tim. Later on I learned that he had convinced his wife that I had forced him to sleep with me once. When I was pregnant I had three doctors, and I had to explain to each one that I do not know his medical history and he wasn't in the picture. I tried to sugar coat it the best way that I could, but the horrible truth is I was pregnant by a married man. As a little girl, I always dreamed of the kind of marriage my grandparents had. I remember when she found out and I seen her for the first time. We were in Meijers and she didn't hold back. That is the moment that I realized how embarrassing the situation that I put myself in was. I wasn't just an unwed mother. I was an adulteries. I realize the severity of this now, and it was something that I struggled with for a long time. I remember when it starting getting easier to tell my story. Scott and I were going through our pre-marriage counselling with Dave Hinman and I remember having to tell him the horrible truth and praying at the same time that he wouldn't hate for what I was about to reveal. Surprisingly enough, Dave nor Robin judged me, but more so celebrated the way I have changed my life. When I was young I lived my life for me and only me. Tim helped changed my life, if that wouldn't of happened, I don't know that I would be the person I am today. I don't know if the partying would have stopped. The things in our life happened for a reason, we can only pray that we will wake up from the "nightmare" we are in and open our eyes and our hearts to something new.

I know that it is hard not to be embarrassed by the pain that you are going through, but if you could use that to make a difference in your life or someone else's, I hope that you would. Sometimes facing the ones you love the most is the most embarrassing part, but always remember those are the ones that no matter what can always see the best part of you. I honestly do not know how someday I will face my daughter and tell her, but being able to face the many people I have along the way has given me much courage.

I can not believe I havent blogged in a week!

This is probably going to be a lengthy one. I haven't blogged in over a week! So much has happened this past week, it is almost UN real. Today, I sadly said goodbye to the team I have been working on the last few weeks. Working on this team gave me a different out look on how things could and should be. I have never liked coming to work more, tired and all. The two years I have worked with Contingent I have never received as much compliments from my team, my managers, and the customer as I did the past three weeks. It feels nice to be appreciated for all the work and overtime that is put in. I have enjoyed this project and the experience I have gained from it.



I moved to the project side out of dispatch at the beginning of November, but have never worked for my real team. I have met with my PM on several occasions, I have never heard good things about him, but have gained a lot of respect for him through our meetings. I have kinda been the floater on different projects going on, so Monday I will begin a new project with my real team. I would be lying if I didn't say I was nervous. I am not nervous because of the project or my team, I am nervous because this particular team is probably the slowest in the office and I don't want the project to end and then I loose my job.



Last Friday I learned that one of my closest friends at work was let go. It was a hard goodbye, but I know it was best because he wasn't happy anymore and I believe he will find something else that he will enjoy much better. And then we learned that Lyn was leaving because she was offered a better job with less hours and more money. Lyn is Missy's boss and was my boss for the past three weeks. She was probably one of the biggest reasons why I enjoyed coming in so much. Every single day she was there in my face telling me how great I was and how thankful she was. She wasn't just like that with me, she is like that with every one. I think that everyone needs to hear that. She really had a way of making people feel special. She will truly be missed!

I think this blog is long enough so I will leave it with I AM SO GLAD THAT CHRISTINE IS OUT OF ICU AND DOING BETTER! We miss you Christine!
Tons more interesting news, but I will leave that for a different day : )