As we are coming into our last few months of homeschooling, it makes me sad. From the time Julie was 4 weeks old I have either worked two jobs, worked, did my intern, and went to school school, or been at CNS where I work 80 hours a week. The chance to be able to home school is the first chance I have ever gotten to really be there for everything. I am most grateful for my company allowing and trusting in me to work from home and be a mother/teacher. This summer I will start back full time in the office until school starts again. I am sure going to miss all the extra time I got with Julie; but blessed with the time I did get and look forward to the time I will get.
I have looked back at the past year and so many things have happened. We said our final goodbye to the first Church that ever really felt like home. I truly miss each and every person, for so long they were our family. I never understood why God closed the door to the Church. For others it might be different but for me it felt like the last chapter of saying goodbye. Scott and I were lead to leave long before it closed, but we always came back. So maybe for us it was God's way of pushing us to move forward with what he has next.
We are also pushing forward with our Insurance office and after a very long road finishing up the last details to get the P&C side started! I am looking forward to seeing how God will move our business.
And then we welcomed my first nephew into this world! I have never realized how much fun it was to be an Aunt. I cherish every second I get to spend with Celia, Abby and Monkey (David). I absolutely adore them!
This year was the first time Scott and I got to take a weekend away. It was the most amazing time and truly helped us reconnect as a couple and not just parents.
There are so many cool things starting up over the next few months and I couldn't feel more blessed. And with out a doubt I know that with out God in our life's we would never have survived the past 8 years let a lone the past year.
I look back and had I not turned to God when we left our Church or anything that happened before we left; how would it have turned out. Would we have continued to look at all? Would we have been able to stand together as a family the way we did? Would we have walked away with out any newly made friends? Would we be here today? How would things have turned out if I didn't trust in God to provide when I walked into my bosses office and put my notice in? Would we be homeless? Would I have still been able to home school Julie? Would it have torn our family apart that I wasn't working? And what if we hadn't had faith in God that Monkey would be born healthy as can be? His cord was wrapped around his neck, we had every reason to just give up and be angry. The truth is, it doesn't matter because we have faced a lot of dark days and with out a doubt there will be more, but we know and trust that God will be there. He will take us by the hand and hold on tight.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sunday, August 1, 2010
God's Timing
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Although it is extremely hard to see it, God's timing is always perfect. Last year Julie's school closed down. After it set in, I started praying about homeschooling her. God told me it wasn't time. Homeschooling is something I had really looked into when she was a baby. So this past year Julie went to public school for the first time. She had a really hard time adjusting and just ended up giving up on school. It hurt to see my child struggling when she had always done so well. Scott and I continued to pray for guidance and this year God told me it was time. So I took that step and gave my notice at work. I expected it to be hard, but what happened surprised me even more. My boss had asked me to stay and work from home so that I could still home school my daughter. It was beyond belief. I called Scott and I said I can't believe what God just did!
Scott's passion is sales specifically, insurance. And he's good at it. He makes it easy to understand and he respects his clients. It's hard to find someone who cares about saving you money in the sales industry, but he does. If he can't save you money he is upfront and honest about your options. Scott has tried several times to go back into Insurance sales, but it wasn't God's timing. Needless to say, we didn't listen and it failed. We continued to pray about it and seek answers on where God wanted us. God spoke and he said September. Wow, that's pretty scary. I am (was) quitting my job to home school Julie and now he was saying for Scott to quit his to do Insurance. We didn't question it though, we started going through the steps to make it happen. Then we re-met Danielle and Danny and everything just started falling into place.
We are in awe in how God has been working in our lives this year. So many things led up to where we are today, but it would take me weeks to write it all out. We went through a lot of struggles and hurt hearts to get where we are today. And for the longest time we were lost on what God was asking us to do. This year started off hard, we fought what God was wanting because it hurt to let those things go. Today I am thankful for the friendships that we have made and even more thankful for the many blessings that God continues to give us everyday!
God isn't just working in our lives though, he is working in yours too and even if you can't see it, my prayer for you is that someday you will.
Please pray for us as we begin this new journey of homeschooling, our business, new Church and many new friendships to come!
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Although it is extremely hard to see it, God's timing is always perfect. Last year Julie's school closed down. After it set in, I started praying about homeschooling her. God told me it wasn't time. Homeschooling is something I had really looked into when she was a baby. So this past year Julie went to public school for the first time. She had a really hard time adjusting and just ended up giving up on school. It hurt to see my child struggling when she had always done so well. Scott and I continued to pray for guidance and this year God told me it was time. So I took that step and gave my notice at work. I expected it to be hard, but what happened surprised me even more. My boss had asked me to stay and work from home so that I could still home school my daughter. It was beyond belief. I called Scott and I said I can't believe what God just did!
Scott's passion is sales specifically, insurance. And he's good at it. He makes it easy to understand and he respects his clients. It's hard to find someone who cares about saving you money in the sales industry, but he does. If he can't save you money he is upfront and honest about your options. Scott has tried several times to go back into Insurance sales, but it wasn't God's timing. Needless to say, we didn't listen and it failed. We continued to pray about it and seek answers on where God wanted us. God spoke and he said September. Wow, that's pretty scary. I am (was) quitting my job to home school Julie and now he was saying for Scott to quit his to do Insurance. We didn't question it though, we started going through the steps to make it happen. Then we re-met Danielle and Danny and everything just started falling into place.
We are in awe in how God has been working in our lives this year. So many things led up to where we are today, but it would take me weeks to write it all out. We went through a lot of struggles and hurt hearts to get where we are today. And for the longest time we were lost on what God was asking us to do. This year started off hard, we fought what God was wanting because it hurt to let those things go. Today I am thankful for the friendships that we have made and even more thankful for the many blessings that God continues to give us everyday!
God isn't just working in our lives though, he is working in yours too and even if you can't see it, my prayer for you is that someday you will.
Please pray for us as we begin this new journey of homeschooling, our business, new Church and many new friendships to come!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
4 wonderful years!!
Today is mine and Scott's 4 year anniversary! We have been together for 7 years and overcome so much together. 7 years ago Scott and I were completely different people and I never imagined where our walk together would end up where we are today. He is my absolute best friend, the one I can always count on. I never thought that I could love him more than the day that I married him, but the love I have for him now is so much deeper. He has supported me and loved me in some of my darkest days. He has been an inspiration for our children. And no matter what others think of him for it, he isn't afraid to say how he feels and that takes guts. One of the things I love the most about him, is his heart! He has a heart of gold. He is always the first to help someone out in need, lend a shoulder/ear, or just simply love them as they need to be loved no matter who. I love to watch him with our kids and just see the joy he brings into their lives each and every day. I love the way he loves me whole heartily and never afraid to show me or make me feel loved and special. With out a doubt 4 years ago was the happiest day of my life, but the love I felt back then is nothing compared to what it is today!
Happy Anniversary Scott! I am truly blessed to have you by my side! I love you!!!
Happy Anniversary Scott! I am truly blessed to have you by my side! I love you!!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
70 times 7
Before we were Christians, it was natural for us to hold grudges and be unforgiving, because that was our very nature. (Ephesians 2:2-3) As believers though, we have been set free from our unforgiving past and it no longer has to lead us about:
“Let me say this, then, speaking for the Lord: Live no longer as the unsaved do, for they are blinded and confused. Their closed hearts are full of darkness: they are far away from the life of God because they have shut their minds against him, and they cannot understand his ways. They don’t care anymore about right and wrong and have given themselves over to impure ways. They stop at nothing, being driven by their evil minds and reckless lusts. But that isn’t the way Christ taught you. If you have really heard his voice and learned from him the truths concerning himself, then throw off your old evil nature; the old you that was a partner in your evil ways- rotten through and through, full of lust and shame.
Now your attitudes and thoughts must all be constantly changing for the better. Yes, you must be a new and different person, holy and good. Clothe yourself with this new nature. Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are hurting ourselves. If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry- get over it quickly; for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil. If anyone is stealing, he must stop it and begin using those hands of his for honest work so he can give to others in need. Don’t use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing. Don’t cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who marks you to be present on that day when salvation from sin will be complete.
Stop being mean, bad-tempered and angry. Quarreling with harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in you. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, Just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.” (Ephesians 4:17-32 LB)
And that is what this study is all about; an in depth look at what the Bible says about forgiveness, and how we are Christians are called to forgive:
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22
Recently I have been having a hard time letting go of the hurt and the pain that we (my family) experienced months ago. I thought that I had forgiven, and I don't hold any grudges, but I am more cautious. However I can't get the pain and the hurt out of my heart. I really didn't realize how much I held on to it until last Sunday Julie was reading out of her Bible and this is the passage she read “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22.
I haven't been able to stop thinking of that verse. Wow!
And then last night a friend came to me with similar hurt that we experienced. Their heart was broken and hard to forgiveness. In a weird way it opened my heart up to be able to forgive fully, and that is what I want to see for them. I don't want the same outcome that we had because that only allows the devil to win as he ALMOST did in our case.
We all fall short of the glory of God, but we also forgiven for each and everything when we open our own heart to forgiveness. I know the pain of not being able to forgive yourself and it's not something that you want to carry with you.
At the beginning of the year after all that we experienced and seen first hand in Florida I felt so strongly that God was working hard in my heart and in my life, but when we returned to Ohio it felt like that passion was gone.
People aren't perfect. They are going to hurt you and you hurt them, but forgiveness is so important especially when your the one forgiving. But our walk with God isn't about the people who hurt you or who you hurt. God's plan is so much more.
Our life experiences make us stronger for things that we will face in the future. I pray that my eyes will stop focusing on that hurt and move on to what God has called me to do. I know that it will be a tough road, but it's a road I am ready to take.
I want better for my children and want them to have strong faith in God. When I doubt my faith weather it be in Church, Christians, or God my children are seeing and learning that. Its easier for people to see the wrong than the right. Its easier to loose sight then to focus on Him.
Some of my favorite Bible verses that have been speaking to me these last few months.
Proverbs 3:5
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped; therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him.”
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
“Let me say this, then, speaking for the Lord: Live no longer as the unsaved do, for they are blinded and confused. Their closed hearts are full of darkness: they are far away from the life of God because they have shut their minds against him, and they cannot understand his ways. They don’t care anymore about right and wrong and have given themselves over to impure ways. They stop at nothing, being driven by their evil minds and reckless lusts. But that isn’t the way Christ taught you. If you have really heard his voice and learned from him the truths concerning himself, then throw off your old evil nature; the old you that was a partner in your evil ways- rotten through and through, full of lust and shame.
Now your attitudes and thoughts must all be constantly changing for the better. Yes, you must be a new and different person, holy and good. Clothe yourself with this new nature. Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are hurting ourselves. If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry- get over it quickly; for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil. If anyone is stealing, he must stop it and begin using those hands of his for honest work so he can give to others in need. Don’t use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing. Don’t cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who marks you to be present on that day when salvation from sin will be complete.
Stop being mean, bad-tempered and angry. Quarreling with harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in you. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, Just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.” (Ephesians 4:17-32 LB)
And that is what this study is all about; an in depth look at what the Bible says about forgiveness, and how we are Christians are called to forgive:
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22
Recently I have been having a hard time letting go of the hurt and the pain that we (my family) experienced months ago. I thought that I had forgiven, and I don't hold any grudges, but I am more cautious. However I can't get the pain and the hurt out of my heart. I really didn't realize how much I held on to it until last Sunday Julie was reading out of her Bible and this is the passage she read “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22.
I haven't been able to stop thinking of that verse. Wow!
And then last night a friend came to me with similar hurt that we experienced. Their heart was broken and hard to forgiveness. In a weird way it opened my heart up to be able to forgive fully, and that is what I want to see for them. I don't want the same outcome that we had because that only allows the devil to win as he ALMOST did in our case.
We all fall short of the glory of God, but we also forgiven for each and everything when we open our own heart to forgiveness. I know the pain of not being able to forgive yourself and it's not something that you want to carry with you.
At the beginning of the year after all that we experienced and seen first hand in Florida I felt so strongly that God was working hard in my heart and in my life, but when we returned to Ohio it felt like that passion was gone.
People aren't perfect. They are going to hurt you and you hurt them, but forgiveness is so important especially when your the one forgiving. But our walk with God isn't about the people who hurt you or who you hurt. God's plan is so much more.
Our life experiences make us stronger for things that we will face in the future. I pray that my eyes will stop focusing on that hurt and move on to what God has called me to do. I know that it will be a tough road, but it's a road I am ready to take.
I want better for my children and want them to have strong faith in God. When I doubt my faith weather it be in Church, Christians, or God my children are seeing and learning that. Its easier for people to see the wrong than the right. Its easier to loose sight then to focus on Him.
Some of my favorite Bible verses that have been speaking to me these last few months.
Proverbs 3:5
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped; therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him.”
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Surgery
What a busy and crazy week it has been!
Monday evening Scott and I met with someone to discuss opening up our own insurance office! The meeting went great and we are at the beginning stages of getting everything together.
Monday evening I had another gallbladder attach....Not so much fun. Result ending in SURGERY! What!!! If you know me, you know I am the biggest baby on Earth. I mean I cannot even take pills, how am I going to go through surgery! I know that in the end it will be much better, but still so many nervous feelings.
Monday evening Scott and I met with someone to discuss opening up our own insurance office! The meeting went great and we are at the beginning stages of getting everything together.
Monday evening I had another gallbladder attach....Not so much fun. Result ending in SURGERY! What!!! If you know me, you know I am the biggest baby on Earth. I mean I cannot even take pills, how am I going to go through surgery! I know that in the end it will be much better, but still so many nervous feelings.
On a much brighter note, my baby sister Robin turned 18 on Wednesday! I am so proud of her! She has been through so much and never gives up!
 |
| Happy Birthday Robin! |
Hope everyone had a good week! We have an exciting weekend coming up!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Goodbye
I have always disliked the word goodbye. It always makes me feel like you are never going to see that person again and the only way you wouldn't is if one of you didn't accept Jesus into your heart. So today I looked up the world goodbye and here are some answers I got.
- It's from Old English meaning "God be with ye"
- a farewell remark; "they said their good-byes"
- It is a form of blessing as one leaves, and the opposite of "hello".
- It's a form of ending for a conversation be it in person or on paper.
- it's a way to say I will see you again sometime-Scott
Nothing that I always thought it meant. Interesting! It reminds me of how I use to view being a Christian. I always felt like I had to fix myself before I could get saved, but in reality accepting Jesus into my heart and into my life is what fixes me. I am still broken, but I know that God is working hard in my heart and hard in my life.
Today, Mike preached about fear. Fear controls our lives. Fear on if we are going to be able to make our bills, feed our kids, quitting my job to home school my daughter. I no longer have fear for quitting my job. I have faith that God will provide as he always has. With that being said I also know that we have to take the steps for me to be able to quit my job.
The ladies at Dove simply amaze me. Their faith and how strong they are. Much like my grandma... faith never shaken.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
A lesson learned!
This weekend Austin became a parent. Don't worry it was for school and only for the weekend! Austin named the baby Taco... yes Taco. He said he was hungry when he got the baby. I must say that I am glad that the school does these type of projects with the students. I know it showed Austin that he was not ready for that life. If you know Austin you know he loves babies just as the next person. But actually having to provide and take care of them full time was a different story. He learned that when you have a baby you are not able to do the kind of things you can do with out a baby such as play the XBOX 360, eat, or get your much needed sleep. And that was just the first few hours that he had him. He also learned another important lesson. Friday night he went to the store with Scott and while he was out, he lost one of the babies diapers. Austin didn't realize that until 4 in the morning, so on top of no sleep he had to go back to Kroger's and search for it. He was not able to find the diaper so now on top of taking care of the baby. He has to do a three page report. Austin felt terrible that he let his teacher down. I think he did a great job and I believe he truly learned his lesson. I am proud of you bub!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Quote of the day!
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."~ Unknown
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The good outdoes the bad by far!
Good points for the day
- The kids had school today! Not that I dont enjoy the extra time, but at this rate they would be going all year long!
- Julie didn't have her spelling words to study for all week and she still only missed a couple. Not to bad for not studying at all!
- Julie also had a math test today and only missed two problems! Big improvement!!!
- We got to hang out with some long lost friends! Many more to come hopefully!!!!
- Robin spent the evening with us too! Miss her so much!
- Chocolate Malt-Yum!!!
- I found a babysit for the evenings! (Still looking for a couple days a week in the morning to get Julie on the bus)
- And I bought a necklace that I had been eyeing for awhile!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Random Thoughts
My sister Nichole recently found out that she was having a boy. What is so cool about this is the day that my grandma passed away, hours before she told Nichole that she was having a boy. Little did she know that she was right. The day of my grandma's visitation Nichole had an ultrasound and found out she was indeed having a boy. I am looking forward to my very first nephew and curious to see how little Abby is going to be with her new brother.
After many prayers and discussions Scott and I have decided that I will be homeschooling Julie next year. I am looking forward to that adventure. However, I am also a little nervous about it. I have tried being a stay at home mom and depression took over me. This time will be a little different. My focus is better and my faith is stronger. I will also be kept really busy with the school work. On the side I will be helping Scott with his business. I would like to also get a part time job. We have recently started redoing the extra bedroom and turning it into a "classroom". I am blessed at all the support we have received on our decision to do this and blown away at all the help and advise!
Something scary I just realized..... Austin will be driving this time next year!!!! NOT READY FOR THAT ONE!
In less than two months my baby sister will be 18! Wow where did the last three years go!
I missed blogging. It's my way of getting my thoughts and feelings out.
I am ready for the snow to melt and spring to come!
After many prayers and discussions Scott and I have decided that I will be homeschooling Julie next year. I am looking forward to that adventure. However, I am also a little nervous about it. I have tried being a stay at home mom and depression took over me. This time will be a little different. My focus is better and my faith is stronger. I will also be kept really busy with the school work. On the side I will be helping Scott with his business. I would like to also get a part time job. We have recently started redoing the extra bedroom and turning it into a "classroom". I am blessed at all the support we have received on our decision to do this and blown away at all the help and advise!
Something scary I just realized..... Austin will be driving this time next year!!!! NOT READY FOR THAT ONE!
In less than two months my baby sister will be 18! Wow where did the last three years go!
I missed blogging. It's my way of getting my thoughts and feelings out.
I am ready for the snow to melt and spring to come!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
My beautiful Grandma!
I have been trying to write (type) this for awhile, but to be honest it's been hard on me. Nothing that I can say here justifies the type of person my grandma was. There are not enough words to honor the women she was. This is my attempt and my beautiful memories of my grandma.
My grandma was a beautiful women inside and out. She had a heart of gold and she stood strong in her faith. Her love for Jesus was never a secret. She lived to set a better example for all of us. And when we would fall she was there to kick us in the butt and get us back on the right track. She loved my grandfather with everything she had. Over 50 years together they would still fall in love more and more everyday. When he passed, she dreamed of being with him again. She waited 7 years, but she is finally in his arms again. I imagine their reunion after so long. She is now with the two loves of her live, Jesus and grandpa. I am at peace with that. That doesn't mean this hurts any less. There was so many things I wanted to say and so many things I wanted to apologize for, I regret not being able to do that.
When we were little my grandma use to babysit us for my dad. (Remember he worked two jobs and was in school) We spent a lot of time with her and we didn't always treat her the best. My grandma would give up her evenings every night to take us home and get us ready for bed and she use to read us the Bible. Although that didnt end well, that was the start of my journey of living my life for God.
My grandparent after they bought their house in Milford. Not long after, my grandpa passed away
My grandma's 80th Birthday! She had so many
stories, that I loved hearing!
As we got older all of us lost our way. At one point in my life I wasn't even sure if I believed in God. At that point in my life I felt like I only believed because I was told to. I was 18 and confused and the best thing I knew to do was go to my grandma. I went there expecting her to yell at me, but she didn't. She had so much love and actually understood my doubts. That was probably the best two hours I had ever spent with my grandparents.
My life didn't change much. I didn't give up my ways of living and I got pregnant out of wedlock. I didn't have the guts to face my grandparents. One day after a doctor appointment I ran into my grandma at Meijers and I knew from the second that I seen her that she knew. My heart dropped, but what hurt the most was the things that she said. Yes she was disappointed in me, but she also told me that they love me and want the best for me. She never once treated Julie different because she wasn't born the biblical way. For so long I never focused on the things that she said after she "yelled" at me.
I remember that every time I just felt down it my life it drew me to my grandma's. I never told her why I was there, but I always felt like she knew. She always had a way of making me feel better by just saying nothing. Sometimes I regret not saying anything.
I never told my grandma how much she meant to me until she was gone. I never told her how much the life she lived influenced me. I miss her so much and my heart feels so empty at times, but I know that she is where she lived her whole life to be and I will always have the memories of her in my heart.
My grandma and I on my wedding day!
Our last girls day at Grandma's.
I love you grandma! Thank you for always believing in me.
I miss her so much
My grandma was a beautiful women inside and out. She had a heart of gold and she stood strong in her faith. Her love for Jesus was never a secret. She lived to set a better example for all of us. And when we would fall she was there to kick us in the butt and get us back on the right track. She loved my grandfather with everything she had. Over 50 years together they would still fall in love more and more everyday. When he passed, she dreamed of being with him again. She waited 7 years, but she is finally in his arms again. I imagine their reunion after so long. She is now with the two loves of her live, Jesus and grandpa. I am at peace with that. That doesn't mean this hurts any less. There was so many things I wanted to say and so many things I wanted to apologize for, I regret not being able to do that.
When we were little my grandma use to babysit us for my dad. (Remember he worked two jobs and was in school) We spent a lot of time with her and we didn't always treat her the best. My grandma would give up her evenings every night to take us home and get us ready for bed and she use to read us the Bible. Although that didnt end well, that was the start of my journey of living my life for God.
My grandparent after they bought their house in Milford. Not long after, my grandpa passed away
My grandma's 80th Birthday! She had so manystories, that I loved hearing!
As we got older all of us lost our way. At one point in my life I wasn't even sure if I believed in God. At that point in my life I felt like I only believed because I was told to. I was 18 and confused and the best thing I knew to do was go to my grandma. I went there expecting her to yell at me, but she didn't. She had so much love and actually understood my doubts. That was probably the best two hours I had ever spent with my grandparents.
My life didn't change much. I didn't give up my ways of living and I got pregnant out of wedlock. I didn't have the guts to face my grandparents. One day after a doctor appointment I ran into my grandma at Meijers and I knew from the second that I seen her that she knew. My heart dropped, but what hurt the most was the things that she said. Yes she was disappointed in me, but she also told me that they love me and want the best for me. She never once treated Julie different because she wasn't born the biblical way. For so long I never focused on the things that she said after she "yelled" at me.
I remember that every time I just felt down it my life it drew me to my grandma's. I never told her why I was there, but I always felt like she knew. She always had a way of making me feel better by just saying nothing. Sometimes I regret not saying anything.
I never told my grandma how much she meant to me until she was gone. I never told her how much the life she lived influenced me. I miss her so much and my heart feels so empty at times, but I know that she is where she lived her whole life to be and I will always have the memories of her in my heart.
My grandma and I on my wedding day!
Our last girls day at Grandma's.I love you grandma! Thank you for always believing in me.
I miss her so much
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Mixed emotions
The new year has started out pretty crappy. I lost my grandma, our Church, and some of our friends. But even with the way the past two months have been, God is so awesome. I have no clue what he has in store for our family, but I know it's something big. I miss my grandma so much and so many times, I want to call or go over and visit her. Even if I never told her the reason I came to visit, visiting with her made my day. My grandma was my biggest inspiration on earth aside from my dad. My grandma lived a long beautiful life and never once did I ever see her faith shaken. I have so many goals that I want to accomplish this year and even though the road is starting out bumpy, I won't give up. And God couldn't have placed a better person in my life to walk through it with than my husband. I don't know if anyone reads this, but if you are please pray for our family. Right now there is so much hurt and confusion that has happened. Sometimes it feels as though there is no light at that the end of the tunnel. I am not by any means saying we were not apart of the hurt and confusion nor am I trying to bash or be little anyone or anything. I simply just want peace in my heart. I have always been the type of person who is strong in her beliefs and not afraid to stand up for them. And boy have I learned that can get you in trouble. I think that so many times, we need to really evaluate the situation before speaking. That is something I will be working on.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
McDonalds!
This evening our plans changed last minute. The kids were looking forward to getting out of the house for a bit, so we decided to go to McDonald's since I had two free coupons for Big Macs. As we were packing up the car to leave, a lady come running out to our car. She said this may sound strange, but God told me I need to pray for you. WOW! Did I mention that Scott and I were feeling down about some things going on in our life, not each other but the rest of the world. Of course we said yes! Please do. She prayed with us and then she said, I don't know you but God is telling me that he has something in store for your family. WOW AGAIN! At this point she walked away. I about jumped out of the car, and said WAIT. Thank you! Something happened this evening that had us feeling really down and what you did tonight really means something. We talked to her for a few more minutes and then left. I am still blown away by what happened. I have seen God work in our lives, but never that up in your face kinda way! Oh and did I mention that she also looked at Scott and said God is calling you into the ministry. Yes you should have seen the look on my husbands face! Still not sure how to process all of this, but I know GOD IS GOOD!
Other good news may be in store, but that will have to wait for another day!
Other good news may be in store, but that will have to wait for another day!
Friday, January 8, 2010
New Year means New Beginings!
Goodbye 2009!
5 things I am most grateful for in 2009
1.) My God! How awesome is He. When all the ugly and hurtful things were happening in 2009 he was right their holding our hand. When we didn't know how we were going to get the money to pay our bills, he provided!
2.) My husband. He is the most amazing man on earth! I love him so much. He has helped me deal with so much this past year. He is my rock. No matter what goes wrong or who I am fighting with I can ALWAYS count on him!
3.) My beautiful children! Julie and Austin are my greatest blessings from God. They have developed into such great people with hearts to serve. I can not wait to see what God has in store for the two of them!
4.) My job. I can complain all I want about my job, but at the end of the day I am so grateful that I have it and am able to support my family and children in their activities. I am also grateful that they work with my schedule and allow me to attend my children's sports!
5.) The hard times. I know that is strange, but honestly it has made our family so much closer. When we feel like the whole world is against us there is never a doubt that we have each other.
4 great memories I have from 2009- there are so many more, and it was really hard to chose when we had so many great things happen to us in 2009!
1.) Our first family vacation to Florida! We all had such a great time and it was really hard settling back into the real world!
2.)Our first family hike on Mothers Day. That was such an awesome day. We had so much fun just hanging out with each other!
3.)The Red's game! Julie and I took my dad to the Red's game. Another great day and it brought back alot of great memories from my childhood!
4.)Village! Although it was a hard goodbye- the girls learned a took a lot from that school! I continue to pray that the school with someday open back up!
3 Goals I have for 2010
1.) Read my Bible more and more. I struggle with committing to that.
2.) Be a better wife to my husband. My husband would say my biggest fault is taking all my problems out on him. (I tell him that's what husbands are for) But in all honestly, I really need to not put all the weight on him.
3.) Be a better mother. There are so many times that Julie and Austin have stuff going on and because I am on call I can't go to all of them. Work provided me with a cell phone and a laptop and this year it's getting put to good use, while I am out running around with my children and soaking up as much of their childhood as possible!
2 things I want to do in 2010
1.) I want to get plugged in. And by that I mean plugged into a small group, plugged into Church period! We ended 2009 with not really being a part of anything. This year I want to focus on God's calling for me.
2.) Cook more- I love cooking. That's weird coming from me because I never do it. But honestly if I was home more, I would cook all the time. When we were at Bonnie's for Christmas, she gave me the idea of precooking the night before. I think I can handle that one.
AND last but not least.... 1 thing I know for sure that will be happening in 2010
1.) We will be adding a new person to our family. OK so not mine and Scott's but this year I know I will gain a new niece or nephew! I am so excited to have another baby in the family!
Welcome 2010!
5 things I am most grateful for in 2009
1.) My God! How awesome is He. When all the ugly and hurtful things were happening in 2009 he was right their holding our hand. When we didn't know how we were going to get the money to pay our bills, he provided!
2.) My husband. He is the most amazing man on earth! I love him so much. He has helped me deal with so much this past year. He is my rock. No matter what goes wrong or who I am fighting with I can ALWAYS count on him!
3.) My beautiful children! Julie and Austin are my greatest blessings from God. They have developed into such great people with hearts to serve. I can not wait to see what God has in store for the two of them!
4.) My job. I can complain all I want about my job, but at the end of the day I am so grateful that I have it and am able to support my family and children in their activities. I am also grateful that they work with my schedule and allow me to attend my children's sports!
5.) The hard times. I know that is strange, but honestly it has made our family so much closer. When we feel like the whole world is against us there is never a doubt that we have each other.
4 great memories I have from 2009- there are so many more, and it was really hard to chose when we had so many great things happen to us in 2009!
1.) Our first family vacation to Florida! We all had such a great time and it was really hard settling back into the real world!
2.)Our first family hike on Mothers Day. That was such an awesome day. We had so much fun just hanging out with each other!
3.)The Red's game! Julie and I took my dad to the Red's game. Another great day and it brought back alot of great memories from my childhood!
4.)Village! Although it was a hard goodbye- the girls learned a took a lot from that school! I continue to pray that the school with someday open back up!
3 Goals I have for 2010
1.) Read my Bible more and more. I struggle with committing to that.
2.) Be a better wife to my husband. My husband would say my biggest fault is taking all my problems out on him. (I tell him that's what husbands are for) But in all honestly, I really need to not put all the weight on him.
3.) Be a better mother. There are so many times that Julie and Austin have stuff going on and because I am on call I can't go to all of them. Work provided me with a cell phone and a laptop and this year it's getting put to good use, while I am out running around with my children and soaking up as much of their childhood as possible!
2 things I want to do in 2010
1.) I want to get plugged in. And by that I mean plugged into a small group, plugged into Church period! We ended 2009 with not really being a part of anything. This year I want to focus on God's calling for me.
2.) Cook more- I love cooking. That's weird coming from me because I never do it. But honestly if I was home more, I would cook all the time. When we were at Bonnie's for Christmas, she gave me the idea of precooking the night before. I think I can handle that one.
AND last but not least.... 1 thing I know for sure that will be happening in 2010
1.) We will be adding a new person to our family. OK so not mine and Scott's but this year I know I will gain a new niece or nephew! I am so excited to have another baby in the family!
Welcome 2010!
Monday, August 24, 2009
10 good things
As I was driving home from work today listening to KLove they were talking about positive things you can do to make someone elses day better or yourself. One of the things that was mentioned was at the end of the day writ ting or emailing to someone ten positive things that happened in the day. I thought I would start off my doing this on my blog, so here goes.
1. I was able to spend an hour of my morning with my daughter
2. I seen Abby's cheesy grin first thing this morning
3. I had positive feedback from a customer
4. Robin helped Julieann with her homework after school (never expected but much appreciated!!!)
5. There was hardly any traffic on the way to work and on the way home
6. I had my favorite milkshake today
7. Both Dave's were in good moods today
8. I was all caught up by the end of the day!!!
9. Terezia was not out today because she had her baby (that's a good thing, she hasn't had her baby shower from work yet!)
10. No techs on site so I can go to bed early!!!
Good night!
1. I was able to spend an hour of my morning with my daughter
2. I seen Abby's cheesy grin first thing this morning
3. I had positive feedback from a customer
4. Robin helped Julieann with her homework after school (never expected but much appreciated!!!)
5. There was hardly any traffic on the way to work and on the way home
6. I had my favorite milkshake today
7. Both Dave's were in good moods today
8. I was all caught up by the end of the day!!!
9. Terezia was not out today because she had her baby (that's a good thing, she hasn't had her baby shower from work yet!)
10. No techs on site so I can go to bed early!!!
Good night!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
In the Desert
Today's sermon really spoke to me today. One of the things Pastor said was "When God wants to bring you into something new, He first has to bring you out of something old". Hearing this helped me see clearer the last few months. It may not be what we wanted but it was what God wanted. I didn't understand that and I questioned quite often why this was happening, but now I understand. I was in the desert that God wanted me to be in at that time, but now He has put me in a new desert. I think that it was something that we fought for awhile, and maybe that's why it became so painful. The last few weeks I have been learning so many new and exciting things about people I have known for such a long time. Hearing their stories and their testimony's has touched my heart in so many ways. I feel like I have given up on so many things that I once had a huge passion for. Such as my degree for Chemical Dependency and children. I would love to have a career helping teens or children of addicts. I find it interesting that 2 of my sisters have also chosen this field...
In other new, first week of school for the girls went great. Julie's first words to me Friday afternoon were there shouldn't be a weekend, they should have school everyday. Robin agreed with her, but I think she was for different reasons ; )
Austin will start school this week. He also has his second football game on Tuesday. Every time I think I couldn't be more proud of that boy, he shows me up. My dad recently found out he has arthritis in his knee. Dad has been having a hard time with it and is pretty uncomfortable at time. Austin has stepped up and started helping my dad mow the grass. This weekend Austin had plans with his grandparents, but ensured he took time to come over to Papa's and mow the grass! I truly believe I have the best kids!
In other new, first week of school for the girls went great. Julie's first words to me Friday afternoon were there shouldn't be a weekend, they should have school everyday. Robin agreed with her, but I think she was for different reasons ; )
Austin will start school this week. He also has his second football game on Tuesday. Every time I think I couldn't be more proud of that boy, he shows me up. My dad recently found out he has arthritis in his knee. Dad has been having a hard time with it and is pretty uncomfortable at time. Austin has stepped up and started helping my dad mow the grass. This weekend Austin had plans with his grandparents, but ensured he took time to come over to Papa's and mow the grass! I truly believe I have the best kids!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Back to school
The girls started back to school today. Robin is now officially a senior! I feel old. My baby sister being a senior. Julie started her first day of 2nd grade today also. Sarah spending the night last night really helped calm Robin's nerves and completely made Julie forget to be nervous. Here are a few pictures of their morning and a few from open house.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Goodbye Summer
The summer is sadly coming to an end. It has been a really great summer. We have experienced some really difficult times and even tougher decisions, but as a family it has brought us closer together. We are blessed by each and every person that has entered our life and know that God brought them into our lives at just the right time. This summer has really been an eye opener of how great our God is. When we didn't know how we were going to survive, God was holding our hand and got us through it. I couldn't ask for a better family or a more supportive family than God has blessed me with. In just a few days the girls will be starting their new school. Julie will be going to a public school for the first time in her life. I am no longer worried about how she will fit in because I know that God will be watching over her. Robin will be ending her last year at Blanchester with some of her best friends. She has been lucky enough to have some of her Village friends with her this year. Austin will be starting his last year of Jr High in just a couple of weeks. I couldn't be more proud of my children for the strength they have shown this year. Our children were faced with some tough decisions and they took it on and stood strong. And my husband has been incredible. The amount of support that he has shown me and our kids has been amazing. He loves whole heartily and is never afraid to show us. I can honestly stand in the mist of everything we have going on in our crazy life and know that no matter what as long as we trust and believe He will get us through this!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Just a little faith!
I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me
So many things have been going on in our busy lives, that's sometimes it can seem hard to just stop and breath. I think our family have been through many rough and emotional times that sometimes we forget to do that. The girls said goodbye to their, school, friends, and many teachers that have touched their lives. Austin has been going through a lot of personal things at his mom's house Emotionally and mentally it has taken a toll on him. Scott and I have decided that it is time that we did something about it. We are currently looking for a new house and still have yet to enroll the girls into a new school. I have come to realize that it is also time for me to find another job. I seen the above posted on some one's blog and it really stuck out to me. It seems that many times we have to just walk by faith even we can not see what we are so desperately wanting to see. We need to trust in God and know that He will always provide like so many times before. And know that even though it doesn't make since now, it will someday.
So what is to come? Still unsure, but I can honestly say that I know with out a doubt that everything will be OK and in the end it will all make since.
Even when I cannot see
because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me
So many things have been going on in our busy lives, that's sometimes it can seem hard to just stop and breath. I think our family have been through many rough and emotional times that sometimes we forget to do that. The girls said goodbye to their, school, friends, and many teachers that have touched their lives. Austin has been going through a lot of personal things at his mom's house Emotionally and mentally it has taken a toll on him. Scott and I have decided that it is time that we did something about it. We are currently looking for a new house and still have yet to enroll the girls into a new school. I have come to realize that it is also time for me to find another job. I seen the above posted on some one's blog and it really stuck out to me. It seems that many times we have to just walk by faith even we can not see what we are so desperately wanting to see. We need to trust in God and know that He will always provide like so many times before. And know that even though it doesn't make since now, it will someday.
So what is to come? Still unsure, but I can honestly say that I know with out a doubt that everything will be OK and in the end it will all make since.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
3 amazing years!
6 years ago, I met the man that would change my life in a way that I would never expect....
And he stole my heart and made me fall head over heals in love with him....
And we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together forever.....
That was the day he asked me to be his wife.....
And he made me the happiest women in the world....
2 separate lives now became one...
And until the day I die, in his arms is where I want to be
growing old and gray with the love of my life!Happy Anniversary Scott! I love you!!!
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